Along with the general malaise of facing our own mortality in a cold, cruel universe, I can understand if voting for the Double Mendoz Hall of Fame is not anyone's top priority. After all, examining and discussing Hall of Fame worthiness is a tired, often frustrating exercise. However, since we devote an absurd amount of our lives to these fake players, we may as well create a fake Hall of Fame worthy of those we adulate. Hopefully, one man's generally unbiased (ain't gonna be a Doughnut ready for the Hall until long after Ebola has claimed us all) overview of the most eligible candidates will provide a little background and at least ensure maximum voter turnout.
For background purposes, to be eligible for any HBD HOF, players must meet the following requirements: Position players: 10+ years of ML experience with 400+ PA per season; Relief pitchers; 10+ years of ML experience with 50+ IP per season; Starting pitchers: 10+ years of ML experience with 150+ IP per season. As far as I can tell, players do not have a maximum numbers of years eligible as in MLB.
Just because I was curious, I looked up how our HBD Hall of Fame compares to the MLB Hall of Fame by position distribution:
Count
of Hall of Fame Members by Position
Numerical
Order
|
||
Position
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Number of Inductees
|
Rank
|
Pitchers
|
70
|
1
|
Center Fielders
|
25
|
2
|
Shortstops
|
24
|
3
|
First Basemen
|
21
|
4
|
Left Fielders
|
21
|
|
Right Fielders
|
21
|
|
Second Basemen
|
18
|
7
|
Catchers
|
16
|
8
|
Third Basemen
|
14
|
9
|
Designated Hitters
|
1
|
10
|
Position
|
Number of Inductees
|
Rank
|
Hall of Fame Positional Frequency
|
||
Double Mendoza HBD Hall of Fame by position (as determined by me):
1B – 4; Corner OF – 3.5; 2B – 2.5; SP – 5; RP - 2
With those in mind, the only clear trend (based on ZERO mathematical analysis) I see is that HBD voters are more likely to vote for power-hitting 1B/COF than MLB voters, and less likely to vote for players at defensive skill positions like C, CF and SS. This may be due to the relative ease of hitting HRs in HBD compared to MLB, or the dead defense era (check out the + play stats until season 6), or the lingering effects of the early season steroid era - which I was not present for in Double Mendoza, but was confirmed by WIS and strongly evident in other worlds. In any case, I would argue Mendoza voters should pay a little more attention to value provided at tough defensive positions, and a little less attention to traditional MLB HOF statistical benchmarks like 400 HR. Having said all that, this class is one the suckiest bunch sucks that ever sucked.
Okay let’s actually look at the players and stop this pseudo-intellectual babbling. I have narrowed the candidate pool down to only players I think could arguably be included in this year’s top 5:
PANTHEON NO-DOUBTERS
Hahahahahaha none of you are even close. Double Mendoza example: Joe Thompson
SECOND BALLOTERS
I'm talking about Roberto Alomar types specifically, players who should unquestionably be in, but some stuffy or power-drunk moron in the BBWAA decides they are not worthy of ultra-elite Cal Ripken jockstrap-caddying greatness. But you have to check their stats to make sure.
In any case, there aren't any here either. Double Mendoza example: Rick Vander Wal
SHOULD BE IN THIS YEAR
Pascual Ordonez - 1B
Key Stats: .288/.394/.550, 573 HR, 1387/1541 R/RBI, 2253 H
Bling: 1 MVP, 3 AS appearances, 3 SS
Best Season: .343/.448/.760, 36 HR 153/192 R/RBI, 216 H, 162 G – most HR/RBI in a season, ever
Argument: You might be noting that I just argued that we induct too many 1B/COF types based on inflated power stats, and then proceeded to advise inducting a 1B based entirely on offensive stats. Touche sirs/madams. And yet, Ordonez's non-steroid era career OPS bests 4 of the 1B/COFers currently in the Hall (Dawkins, Vander Wal, Martin, and Brunette). This is despite playing the bulk of his career in Oakland and Helena, not exactly hitters paradises. At his peak, the man was a 78-100-76-73-94 hitter, which is terrifying. 573 HRs is like, a whole lot, too. So there's that.
TOO CLOSE TO CALL/CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR
Normally I would make these two separate categories, but since this HOF class is so bad I will lump them together for those who wish to hand out all 5 votes.
Dave Gallagher - SP
Key Stats: 192-139 W/L, 3.00 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 2454/905 K/BB
Bling: 6 AS appearances, 2 Gold Gloves
Best Season: 23-6, 2.42 ERA, 1.17 WHIP, 163/67 K/BB
Argument: Gallagher has gotten no love from voters, but has a better ERA than all but two HOF pitchers, one of whom is a reliever. Lack of Cy Young wins seems to be effecting him as well, as Markus Collins has a similar if slightly worse resume but has garnered far more votes. Due to a limited stamina, he rarely surpassed 200 IP in a year, and fell short of 3000 IP and 200 Wins, which has undoubtedly hurt him. At his peak was wielding twin 90s splits, high 80s control, 70= VEL/GB, and two 75+ pitches. For one game, I'd rather have him than any HOFer outside of Parra and arguably Dessens, though it's close. I will be voting only for Ordonez, but my second vote would go to this Watermelon-smasher over any other candidate.
John Burroughs - SP (See Dave Gallagher. Eerily similar, but eclipsed arbitrary 200-win threshold despite pitching slightly worse throughout career)
Sherman Seo – 1B/LF
Key Stats: .291/.372/.531, 407 HR, 1355/1461 R/RBI, 275 SB
Bling: 2 MVP, 6 AS, 3 SS (LF and 1B), ROY, and a surprising 3 Cycles
Best Season: .326/.438/.617, 32 HR 116/115 R/RBI, 46 SB
Argument: Seo is a very strong all-around offensive player, and actually could've been even better without a devastating injury that robbed him of 6 points of PWR while he was still developing. He hits for power, gets on base, and ran the bases fairly well for a slugger, although he was caught stealing well over 1/3 of the time. The Shermanator's 2 MVPs and strong overall offensive game without the aid of hitter-friendly parks are not enough for me to vote him in, but he received 12 votes one season. No year will be any easier than this one. Could blaanks's all-caps plea seal the deal?
Markus Collins - SP
Key Stats: 189-129 W/L, 3.38 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 2011/884 K/BB
Bling: 2 Cy Youngs, 7 AS appearances
Best Season: 16-7, 1.95 ERA, .90 WHIP, 142/48 K/B, 207 IP
Argument: Markus Collins must have played on mostly mediocre teams, because he eclipsed 200 IP in 10 seasons, had a lifetime 3.38 ERA, and never cracked 20 wins. For 15 seasons and 8 different franchises, Collins was an ace-level pitcher, yet he started only 5 playoff games his entire career. That's not a knock against him; it's a pixelated tragedy. With a better WHIP, more bling, but a far worse K/BB ratio and ERA than Gallagher, it's tough to argue Collins is any more deserving. But like many players in this class, I toast Markus Collins: here's to a great career that wasn't quite long enough or good enough for me, but vote him on in if you're less persnickety.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Steve Wilson, Glenn Shaw, Jo-Jo Overbeck, Artie Benjamin: If you're looking for a 1B/COF with a career OPS of .820-.860, 400-525 HR, and 1100-1500 R/RBI, you've got enough choices here to convince me that none of them is a special enough snowflake for our fake Hall of Fame.
Jesus Santos, Vern Woods, Reggie Winston: Take your 4.00ish ERAs and your mediocre winning percentages and kindly leave.
Mark Blackwell: You actually played great defense! Why didn't you hit better - you make my intro section meaningless with your Hall of Pretty Good bat. Damn you to Honorable Mention, Mark Blackwell.
Shortstops: There were like 25 of you weaklings. The highest career OPS among you? .765. And if you're asking, NO, NONE OF YOU IS OZZIE SMITH WITH GLOVE.
Jayson Punto: Jayson, you had me at "this player has not won any awards."
Lots of Steroid-era players who didn't play very long: Tough cannolis.
So there you have it. 1000 words on RETIRED fake ballplayers when I could have just gone on world chat and posted "VOTE ORDONEZ." Let's Get out the Vote - even if you're voting for those other also-rans too.
